“Happy New Year!” he shouted. At least, that’s what I think he said. Much of it is a blur.
I remember arriving at the club. My friends and I were told that Shanghai had some of the best nightlife in China and I believed it. The club was pretty nice. It was one of those “no jeans and you need to take the elevator up to the top floor” type of deals.
We got upstairs and the music was whack. It was all techno, and everybody there seemed like a business professional–people in suits and shit. Me and my girls decided to grab a few drinks at the overpriced bar, avoiding the sweaty international executives in favor of some strawberry daiquiris.
Nobody bought me a drink, or really even looked at me and my friends. It could have been because we were Black, but who really knows (it was definitely because we were Black)? That was ok though, because my friends were lit af and we started to make our own fun even with the shitty dance music.
While dancing, this dude started to approach me. I’m usually pretty cautious off white men approach me, but there was nothing for him to colonize (except my body) so I responded positively and smiled. We started to dance together and it was getting hot and steamy. Literally, the club was hot and he smelled like shit and was really sweating and I really wondered if he had taken advantage of some antiperspirant that day.
While grinding, I felt him pull away. Thank God. I was happy to be free and enjoy the relatively fresh air around me. It almost felt like when you’ve been underwater too long and just barely make it up for air. Yes, everything was cool until I turned around and saw him dancing with my FRIEND.
Honestly, it’s my fault for having assumed he was gay. I’m no hater though, so I let them dance. Clearly he was down with the swirl, so I wasn’t mad at him.
Oh, the guy was British. And, if Prince Harry can teach me anything, it’s that the Brits love some chocolate. I digress.
So him and my friend were dancing, and out of nowhere Brit boy takes off her baseball cap. My friend is mortified. And if you know why, then you know. She needed that headwrap because her shit was truly busted under those satin wrappings.
Being the good friend that I am, I swung back around to get the scarf from him and be my friend’s saving grace. Of course he took that as a cue to try and make out, so I figured why not and let his mouth slit touch mine. Before you know it, we’re in the bathroom stall and his mushroom head dick is in my mouth. Now, I’m talking button mushrooms, not shitake or oyster honey.. I was gagging (literally) because it’s lowkey big and I was into it! He started moaning though and it got a bit weird, but I kept going until he finished and ended up with a mouthful of cream of mushroom soup. It was quite tasty, yum!
“Do you want me to take care of you?” he asked. I politely declined. The bathroom started to smell like bathroom, so the fun was over. Two Blacks, one Brit, and no attention paid to the sign that clearly stated that no sexual activity was to take place in the bathrooms.
I guess that’s how he wanted to bring in the New Year.